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April Fools Posts

Jorge Posada Vows to Steal Four Bases in 2009

Now that his shoulder appears to be completely healthy again, Posada told the New York Post that he wants to diversify his game, especially with Alex Rodriguez sidelined for the early part of the season. Said Posada: "One thing people don't realize about me is I have pretty good wheels for a catcher. I stole three bases in 2006 without getting caught and could have gotten to double digits if [manager] Joe [Torre] had given me the green light."

Normally we wouldn't bank on steals from a 37-year old catcher, but Posada has been successful in his last six attempts, and he seems committed to setting a career high with four this season.

Jay Cutler Threatens to Retire

Despite earlier reports that the Broncos will seek to trade Cutler due to irreconcilable differences, the Denver Post reports that Cutler has refused to play for another team, thereby eliminating any potential trade value he might have.

Said Cutler: "If they trade me, I'll just flat out retire. No way they're getting anything decent back for me."

Cutler continued: "With Champ [Bailey] having lost a step and Brandon [Marshall] quite possibly going to jail - where frankly he belongs - I'm the face of the Denver Broncos. And trust me, you don't trade the face of the franchise for Matt freakin' Cassel."

If the team is determined to trade him, Cutler vows to make sure the Broncos receive no more than a fifth-round pick and $500 cash in return.

Giants Will Release Zito by Week's End

Inspired by the Tigers' release of Gary Sheffield despite being on the hook for $14 million, the Giants will release Barry Zito and pay him the remaining $90 million owed him over the next five seasons, the San Francisco Chronicle reports. Said GM Brian Sabean: "It was a dreadful signing, and we're coming around to the concept of a 'sunk cost.'"

Sabean added: "Knowing what I know now, would I do it over again? Of course, not. But hindsight is 20/20."

Despite Zito's recent struggles, we're talking about a guy with double-digit wins for eight consecutive years - expect him to sign elsewhere soon. He's absolutely worth a look in medium-depth mixed leagues.